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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?